


Mercy in Darkness

by DaniJayNel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Apocalypse, F/F, One-Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-03 21:18:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2888255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniJayNel/pseuds/DaniJayNel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Humanity is infected. Those that do not turn into titans are eaten by them  and only the few that remain are immune. Mikasa is part of that few and is the last hope, but the entire weight of humanity is too great for just her shoulders.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Seamless rubble spilled from the guts of a tumbled building, garnering a plume of ashen smoke that filtered up into the reddened, thick sky. Not a sound more was heard and no one to hear it. The silence was bountiful, almost weeping. If any had survived, they surely would have listened upon the untapped air and grimaced at the painful emptiness. In the distance another building collapsed, its descent quiet in spite of the groan of protest as it leaned, cracked and tumbled. Broken concrete and blackened dirt skirted up around it, floating around for a good measure of time and any lungs to breathe the air would have strained, painfully sucking in air too thick with death and too little oxygen.

Once blue, the sky shimmered red, occasionally shimmering to purple at the planet’s rotation. This was once earth, and all that it was now sat in ruin. Even as the planet continued to rotate on its axis, led on by the natural state of existence, it was unaware that all upon it has ceased to do that—exist. All but one.

She felt a strong burn in her limbs as she woke—broken metal and concrete surrounded her, covered her, and for a moment she feared that her leg has been shattered to the point of unrecognition. She could not feel it. But her newly awakened mind sorted to adrenalin instead of panic, and with a soft inhalation she attempted to move. It was too dark to see. The internal and external lighting from her suit had been damaged. Wherever she was, it was surely not a good place. But she could not remember where, couldn’t even be sure if she could breathe without her mask again. Blood possibly lingered in her lungs, and not for the first time she felt as though death was too shy to take her—for this was only one of the many instances that Mikasa Ackerman had faced down the odds and only nearly failed.

But now she had, and failure was all that she could feel.

Blinking back sweat and blood from her eyes, she lifted her broken arm, flinching at the sting of pain, and sighed softly that she was both able to do the action and that there was enough space on her left to do so. When she attempted to lift her right arm, she only made it a few centimetres before her armour clanged loudly against metal. Her arm fell back and she swallowed, panic and claustrophobia slowly creeping into her. The sudden rush of emotion caused white, hot light to flash before her eyes and for a moment Mikasa wondered if this was the moment that her mind would cease and her body would still. She relaxed soon after, but not by much, and lay desolate as her breathing became haggard.

_“Ackerman!” a voiced shouted, angry and desperate in one breath. “Behind you!”_

_Mikasa turned, adrenalin instantly shooting into her system thanks to her suit. It gave her the spurt she needed, and she swiftly dodged just as a mindless titan swung its gangly arm her way, mouth stretched wide to showcase large, square teeth. Upon these teeth Mikasa could see stains of blood and chunks of flesh. She averted her eyes as her balance regained itself, swallowing the thickness from her throat at the knowledge of what this creature had done—trapped in its own mind and body, the titan was forced to scour through the battle field, consuming all in its path. Her blood raged, and without thinking she darted for it, successfully dodging its second attack._

_“Mikasa!”_

_But she ignored the warning, the only thing on her mind being the abominable creature before her of a person that was once like her, free like her with their own thoughts and feelings. She did not want to admit how much seeing this creature stung her heart, and so she raged forward, yelling out in rage as she connected a tough fist to the titan’s jaw. Besides the exoskeleton suit already providing profound strength, Mikasa Ackerman had undergone intense cybernetic enhancements for this very purpose—the titan barely grunted as its lanky body shot to the side, face crashing painfully into a burning building._

_“Let’s move!” Mikasa ordered, eyes darkened to almost black. Her partner and second in command, Annie Leonhardt—who had shouted the warning—rushed over despite the order._

_“What the fuck was that, Ackerman?”_

_Mikasa bristled, less than pleased with the clear display of insubordination. “Follow my command and nothing else!” she roared, vaguely aware that adrenalin still pumped through her veins and that Annie did not deserve such rough treatment. A rush of guilt passed over her at the hurt that flashed in Annie’s eyes, how she flinched._

_“Understood, Captain,” Annie droned, eyes filling with the usual emptiness that she displayed on the battlefield._

_Though today was no battle—it was an all-out planetary war._

_“Ackerman, where the hell is your squad?” a voice, static, burst through Mikasa’s internal comm, breaking her inner turmoil of guilt. “We need immediate evac! Civilians are still groundside and we need your ass here for cover!”_

_Mikasa was surprised to hear the desperate fear in the man’s voice. Though at another time she would have chuckled, called him out on it and teased him endlessly, now was far from that time. “On our way, Jaeger.” Now was no time for informalities or familiarity. The more formal she remained, the more detached she could be. Seeing the once beautiful buildings collapse around her was painful enough, seeing her companions collapse would be the sure end of her. “ETA about ten minutes.”_

_Over the call Eren cursed. “We don’t have ten minutes! Titans are plundering through the walls in droves. I’ve lost Springer, Arlert and Braun already. Wagner is out cold and my entire team are shitting themselves!”_

_“Hold out, Eren. We’ll get there.”_

_“We need to get everyone off planet,” Eren yelled quickly. There was a huff on his end and then static as he fired his weapon. Mikasa wasn’t sure if he then charged a titan or dived for cover. When the line cleared up, he sounded haggard and Mikasa refused to let herself worry._

_“I understand,” Mikasa barked harshly. She could feel Eren’s hurt even through the signal. “I don’t need you yelling at me.” She turned to Annie who was watching her with cold, hard eyes. They were emotionless but it did not deter Mikasa in the least. “Let’s head out now. At this rate the Jaeger squad won’t make it.” She tapped a button underneath her chin to end the call, hoping that Eren could hold out until they got there, and turned to the others behind her. “Ymir, Reiss, cover each other!” She turned to Annie. “Cover me. We will need to battle through this street to get to the city centre.”_

_Annie nodded numbly, and behind them Krista and Ymir nodded as well._

_“Ackerman squad a-go,” Mikasa announced. She lifted her gun, knowing that it took more than a simple hemi-round to really destroy a titan—short for_ _hemicellulose, an enzyme that had been utilized and weaponized to battle the infection known as titans. The enzyme did quick work on breaking down a titan’s body once injected into their bloodstream via bullet, but compared to how quickly soldiers lost their lives to the titans’ stomachs, it was still not quick enough._

_The team spread out, flanking each other and keeping alert for any titan. They could hear the creatures all around them, and Mikasa sent out another silent plea for Eren to make it until they got there to support him and save everyone else._

Her breathing had yet to even and her heart followed suit, thumping unevenly, painfully, against her crushed ribs. She managed to press her arm against her chest, realizing that her chest plate had been almost completely ripped off. There was still no light and with her body in such destruction Mikasa knew that her time was quickly running out. So with a surge of determination and possible hope that maybe someone made it out, she pulled with all her might. Her leg came loose from underneath rubble as its skin tore, fresh blood spilling onto whatever surface she was laid out on. It barely hurt, though the armour, now useless, hung on her body unnecessarily.

Mikasa began to claw around her, looking for any possible opening. Eventually something gave and a pale shaft of light spilled in. Mikasa was quick to follow it, dragging her body painfully against the shattered ground. She made it out just as the sun dipped in the horizon, flashing rays upon rays of scarlet light. It blinded her, hurt her, but she pressed on and with pure will got onto her feet.

Mikasa suddenly remembered what had happened before she ended up where she woke. The memory left her with a grimace and she lightly tugged at her chest and shoulder plates to relieve herself of them. When she was free of them she sucked in a long, relieved breath. No longer pulled down by gravity, she could straighten a little more. The sun was still out enough that Mikasa was able to look over the horizon. What she saw dashed any last hope that she had.

_“Mikasa!” Annie roared, anger flaring in her eyes. “It’s over! They’re gone!”_

_Mikasa screamed in rage, sending her fist through a titan’s skull. It had lunged at her, but she had used her body’s momentum to jump onto its arm and into the air. When her fist connected the titan’s neck snapped, effectively immobilizing it, and Mikasa dropped down with a shattering step. Blood dripping from her lip where her teeth sunk into the soft flesh. Annie was by her in moments, quickly reaching out to grab her shoulder. Mikasa then pulled her in, actions desperate, eyes wild. Annie didn’t expect it, but she wrapped her arms around Mikasa’s hard form as much as she could._

_“We were too late,” Mikasa whispered._

_Annie caught Ymir’s hard gaze, silently asking her to keep watch. After being in the military together for so long, Ymir understood the plea in Annie’s blue eyes. So she lifted her weapon and neared them, eyes darting around. When she made it to their side she shot one round at the collapsed titan, since it wasn’t dead, and then spat in its face._

_“We don’t have time to mourn,” Krista said gently. She had followed Ymir, and now she gently clasped Mikasa’s upper arm—as much as she could. “There are still shuttles that need to leave. Eren had the clearance to access the computers. The only one here that does besides him is you,” she told Mikasa. “Once the civilians are safely in orbit, we can lay waste for revenge.”_

_Mikasa peered down at the blonde. She was about to make a nasty quip, but paused harshly when she noticed the very painful sparkle of tears in Krista’s eyes. The little blonde had loved Eren just as much, as she had for the other soldiers. They had made it a second too late, and the only proof of that was the blood spattered on the ground and walls. In the distance they could hear frightened yelling, and Mikasa reluctantly let Annie go._

_“You’re right,” she said to Krista. “Our only priority is to save humanity. We’ve already lost too much.”_

_Ymir nodded solemnly. Krista went to her, leaning in gently to offer some comfort. They were all shaken. No one had ever expected this to happen._

_In the year 2755, a strange meteorite had collapsed upon Earth. Scientists had taken it in for study, and had discovered that it contained surprisingly large amounts of earth substances. It clearly wasn’t from earth, but it was similar. They then decided to try and make something out of it, thinking of all the wonderful ways humanity could gain if they succeeded. They started a project called Titan X, developing a serum that would allow the human body improvement. Not only would it add weight to any war by way of inhuman strength, but it also had amazing healing qualities. By consuming the serum, either through creams, pills or injections, the customer would have prolonged life, a strong body and exceptional mental abilities. That had been the dream, and it had worked for a long while._

_In 2855, Titan X—the serum had been named after its project—changed. The characteristics became harmful. Most of humanity had become dependent on Titan X, and any with the serum running through their veins became the ugly creatures that they fought today. Their bodies expanded to frightening heights. The people lost their minds, became empty husks with a simple hunger for their kind. They seemed to have an uncontrollable need to feed, and with the extremely quick rate at which people changed, millions had been lost. If someone hadn’t turned into a titan, they were either eaten or escaped underground. Any that escaped became soldiers. These soldiers were immune. Their immunity allowed them to wield the titan power like a sledge hammer without the horrific effects. Mikasa, Annie, Ymir and Krista were immune. They were the last hope for humanity._

_The original plan had been to create a cure, but anyone with knowledge on the subject had been eaten. They then had no choice but to fall back on violence. By enhancing their soldiers still, humanity managed to hang on by a thread for the next fifty years. But eventually they had to escape, and they did so by sending a massive space craft into earth’s orbit. Once all of humanity had escaped there, the soldiers would eradicate the titans. If it ever became safe enough to return, humans would do so. Otherwise they would attempt to find another home world, another earth._

_“Let’s go,” Ymir said steadily. “I see a group of four heading our way.” Their heavy footsteps thumped heavily against the ground, causing the various pools of blood to shimmer._

_“Class?”_

_“Two three meters, one seven meter and a nine meter.”_

_Mikasa cursed softly. If they had all been three meters then they could have taken them on, but with a seven and a nine meter, it was impossible. She gave Annie a lingering look before turning and cocking her gun. “We should leave now. The building will hold out until the shuttles have left.”_

_Everyone nodded, and under Mikasa’s watchful eye they hurried into the nearby building. It was a facility called Freedom, where all things Titan X had been developed, even the many space crafts. Metal walls clamped down around all sides of the building, installed long ago when the titan threat began. It would give them enough time. Mikasa only hoped that no one inside of the building had turned or would turn. For now she focused on her mission, and led her band to the main terminal. There sat countless computers, but Mikasa only needed one._

_The building shook violently, titans surrounding it by all sides. Their panting and groaning was so loud that everyone inside could hear it. Mikasa responded by typing away faster, fingers nearly flying against the holographic keyboard._

_“How much longer?” Annie asked tensely. Her jaw was clenched, muscles bunched up tightly._

_Mikasa waited before she responded. When she entered the last manual command, she shut the computer off and then stepped back with a breath. “Twenty-three minutes until lift off. We’ll have to hold out until then.”_

_“Where do we go?” Ymir asked. “In a shuttle?”_

_“We can’t. Our duty is not to escape.”_

_Ymir lowered her gun. “So we’re just going to wait here until those freaks break in and eat us? There is nothing left to defend. Our forces were wiped out like a shit stain!”_

_Mikasa flinched. Her anger had not dissipated, nor her adrenalin. The urge to snap back, maybe even throw a punch, was great. But Ymir was right. Ymir had touched on a fear that Mikasa had ignored until now._

_Since the moment they had been acknowledged as immune, they had taken a pledge to stay behind. But there was nothing left for them anymore. An army of titans had devastated them too early, before they were ready. Four measly soldiers could do nothing. But Mikasa wanted them to pay, she wanted to wreak havoc on them for as long as she could. She was more than willing to stay and offer up her life. Was it fair for her team to do the same? Ymir was always outspoken about her intense interest in staying alive. Even Krista, her wife, came very close to second when it came to her own life. If Ymir left, no doubt Krista would go with her. Krista was inclined to do with her life what Ymir willed. And then there was Annie._

_“We took a vow, Ymir,” Mikasa told her sternly, jaws straining. “But that does not mean that I can force you.” She lifted a hand, pointing towards the shuttles. “Not many made it here. There are many shuttles left. If you want to, you may get in one.” She looked at the console where she had been typing earlier, calculating manually how much time had passed. “You have nineteen minutes to decide before the shuttles take off.”_

_Ymir seemed surprised. Even though she had voiced her concern, even she understood the gravity of the vow she had taken. If there had been many of them left, then maybe she would have stayed. But not now and not like this. This wasn’t worth giving her life for. So she looked at Mikasa, straightening out of respect._

_“Thank you,” she breathed._

_Krista rubbed a covered hand over her face. It was almost caked in blood, sweat and dust. “Mikasa, will they accept us?”_

_Mikasa shrugged. “They’ll either let you float up there until you die for betraying the trust and the vengeance of humanity, or they will allow you aboard and paint you as war heroes.”_

_Ymir grabbed Krista’s arm. “Those options are better than staying here to die.” She looked down. “You’re coming with me.”_

_Krista had already decided to leave with Ymir the moment the brunette had voiced it. It was never even a question. But she glanced over at Annie, worried. Mikasa saw it._

_“Take Annie with you,” Mikasa ordered._

_Annie would have bristled, would have exclaimed in outraged, but she was not stupid. Their odds were slim. “Come with me,” she pleaded. “Don’t stay here to die.”_

_Mikasa hated the emotion in her voice. She hated knowing that by doing this, she would never get her peaceful life with the person she loved. “I have an obligation,” Mikasa told her. “To humanity. One that I can’t betray.”_

_Ymir became impatient. “Make up your mind! We don’t have enough time.” The building hadn’t ceased to shudder and quake, close to tumbling down around them._

_Mikasa took a breath. “Annie, I love you.”_

_“So either come with me or let me stay.”_

_Mikasa wavered. The adrenalin in her system was threatening to sweep her up in either anger, or fear. Most of her screamed to reach out and take Annie’s hand. She knew the odds—knew that staying was her suicide. She knew that she had always wanted to grow old with Annie._

_“I…” Mikasa bit her lip, eyes wondering over to the console again. “I don’t want to die,” she admitted._

_Annie breathed harshly and stepped in to place a firm, urgent kiss against Mikasa’s lips. Despite the horror of their situation, for that fleeting moment Mikasa was able to forget where they were, why they were there, and felt herself consumed by the softness of Annie against her. It was more memory than anything, since they both had heavy plated armour on. But Mikasa relished it, and she found herself pressing in harder, lips seeking and finding. Annie groaned softly against her, breath hitching. She would do anything in that moment to have some sort of gap where Mikasa could have unsheathed a hand and touched her warm skin. But there was none, and Mikasa pulled back as the building shook again. Annie felt cold and barren at the loss of contact._

_Sighing, Mikasa gripped her gun more firmly and then took a breath. “Ten minutes,” Mikasa said, catching Ymir’s urgent gaze. Suddenly a loud crack filled the air, and then a groan of tearing metal. Footsteps shuddered into the room, and Mikasa’s body tensed. “Titans have breached!” she yelled. “Get onto the shuttle, now!”_

_Ymir wasted no time and grabbed the small blonde by her side. She blinked when her hands met air, and then looked up in time to see Krista already halfway across the room. Grinning, she chased after Krista. They would reach the nearest shuttle in two minutes, and once they had Ymir planned to give Krista a nice surprise for her quick reflexes._

_Meanwhile, Mikasa fumbled around her gun to see how many rounds she had. “Go with them,” she ordered harshly, inserting a new round since the other had been used. A titan finally stuck its head into the room, body probably just small enough to fit through the double doors. Thanks to the large room titans could easily move about if they could make it inside. When the wall shuddered beside the door Mikasa did not doubt that the doorway would become nothing but a huge gaping hole in another few minutes. “I’ll catch up.”_

_Annie shook her head. “I won’t leave you.”_

_“Go!” Mikasa shouted. The titan had just pulled its body into the room, eyes bleary and lips pulled up in a morbid smile. Its hands flexed, more than ready to crush bodies before devouring them. “I’m the only one left with hemi-rounds.”_

_Annie tried not to show her surprise. She had run out just as Mikasa had taken out the last titan. How had she even noticed? “Promise me that you’ll get in the shuttle before it takes off.”_

_Mikasa glanced behind her at the shuttle in question. The titan was too close for comfort, reaching the shuttle would take a minute and there was only about five minutes left. The odds were not in her favour. “Yes! Now go. I’ve got this.”_

_Annie wanted to pause to give her lover one final kiss but did not want to distract her, so instead she bolted to the shuttle, breathing harshly as Ymir and Krista pulled her in. Mikasa lifted her gun as the titan lunged for her, arm sweeping under her legs. She jumped, the bottom of her boots grazing the titan’s flesh. She landed quickly and then fired two short rounds. They hit their mark, causing the titan to roar and tumble onto its back, hands clasping at the gaping wounds on its face. The wounds would not heal._

_Mikasa started back up slowly, keeping track of the time in her head. She had to keep the titans back as long as she could. If she had time, she would join her team and escape the place. But when three more titans clambered into the room, faces just as ugly as they usually were, Mikasa realized that there would not be enough time for her to hold them off and escape quickly. Either she held them off until the shuttles were long gone, or she chanced escaping and letting the titans tear the shuttles apart. The latter absolutely could not happen._

_Annie seemed to sense it in the way Mikasa’s movements became reckless. She attempted to jump out to join her, but Ymir grabbed onto her and forced her into a seat. “Mikasa!” Annie yelled. “What are you doing?”_

_“Three minutes,” Mikasa whispered to herself, grunting as a titan managed to blindside her. She felt a strange tingle run up her side as the titan smacked her to the floor. If not for the adrenalin and healing serum injected into her through the suit, she would have been crippled with pain. Instead she only felt the heat of anger bubble up inside of her. As the titan wrapped her up in thick, bloody fingers, she squirmed and shot once between its eyes. It dropped down quickly, and Mikasa turned to aim at a titan that had managed to get past her. It was more intelligent than the rest, and somehow managed to dodge the shot. But it kept going for the shuttle, drool spilling over its fat lips. Mikasa had no choice, and she used her immense strength and the enhanced joints of her suit to jump high into the air, landing hard on its back. In pure fury she ripped its ear off with her hand, succeeding in distracting it._

_Two minutes._

_It roared and reached for her, but Mikasa quickly slid down to the floor. She hurried under it, aimed and shot three rounds. One into its stomach, one in the chest and one in the head. The titan stumbled, hands trying to decide which wound to hold onto, and then fell to the floor. Mikasa looked up at the sound of more groaning, harsher breathing. She paled. The wall came crashing down. All around her the facility groaned as if it could no longer stand._

_One minute._

_To top it off, there were six titans all staring hungrily at her, lazily walking over the dirty ground. They almost seemed taunting in the way they grinned, and it infuriated Mikasa enough that she did not hear Annie calling for her. Ymir held the blonde back, needing even Krista’s assistance to keep her safely inside of the shuttle._

_“Mikasa!” Ymir shouted, sweat slicking down her face. “I have to lock the shuttle. Are you coming or not?” Even as she asked it, Ymir knew the answer. There was not enough time. She had only asked for Annie’s sake._

_“Go!” Mikasa shouted back, barely aware of what she was answering. She dodged and sidestepped attacks, skilfully shooting titans where they were most vulnerable._

_“I have to do it,” Ymir said. She reached out and quickly pressed a button by the shuttle door. It slid shut with a cold finality, and since it was set to remain tightly sealed until they reached the space craft, Ymir felt it was safe to release Annie._

_The shuttles suddenly groaned, shifting and moving. From the far left they began to lift, fire sparking beneath them. It happened all too quickly. One by one the shuttles left, shooting up into the sky with smoke at their feet. Annie saw it begin with panic. She pressed herself to the glass, aware of the circumstances but unable to comprehend them. She yelled, pounding with her fists. Mikasa never looked back. When their shuttle finally left—the last to do so—Annie finally caught a glimpse of Mikasa’s grey eyes. They were exhausted and angry, and even depressed. The glance lasted a second, and then they were gone. Annie continued to watch, even as the building collapsed in on itself._

_Mikasa managed to hold the titans off long enough, and as the shuttle with her team shot out of the facility, she managed a strained but relieved sigh. She was backed into the corner now, barely even able to stand. She had run out of rounds and the titans were closing in. And then the building suddenly gave way. It was enough to distract the titans from their meal, and when they all looked upwards, Mikasa dove behind a desk. In that instant the roof collapsed, and now with her adrenalin sapped, Mikasa felt an explosion of pain surround her. Light danced around her field of vision, and then it went blank and for an instant her entire world ceased to exist._

Not a breath of life remained on the surface. Mikasa could spot corpses of both humans and titans scattered about like toys. Her throat clenched with more than thirst, and she hesitantly scaled the wreckage of the building she had been under. If it wasn’t for her suit she would not have been able to move. Pain shot through her with each step, but she forced herself to take each one. There was no one around her, only the dead. It was overwhelming lonely. Depression weighed on her mind like it had since the moment she had become immune. This had been her fate, but she finally felt bitter about it.

She stopped at the top of the rubble, limbs screaming for rest. Her chest ached now more than ever. She hoped that everyone had made it out safe, Annie most of all. If only she had some way to send a last message, to let Annie know exactly how she felt. Annie knew that she loved her, but she did not know that Mikasa felt more than that. Mikasa had wanted stability, marriage and kids. None of that was an option now, but at least Annie was up there, and not down on earth where wind picked up dust and ash. The stench would have had Mikasa bent over retching if she was not already used to it.

Everything was painful to look at, but Mikasa forced herself to.  All of her decisions until then weighed down on her. Out of all the immune, she had been the most adored and the strongest. She had been the hope, and all of humanity had put their worries onto her shoulders. She had been expected to carry them, but it had been too much. So many things had gone wrong under Mikasa’s watch. It all hurt worse than her shattered leg and ribs. If she had maybe sensed the attack sooner, sent out a different team to scout the situation, then maybe they would not have lost so many.

But guesses and thoughts were all she had left. “What ifs” had no place. So she remained still, bleeding out onto the ground and breathing more shallowly as the light began to fade. When it winked out, taking the last of the light that allowed Mikasa to watch the burning ground and mutilated bodies, it felt like a relief.

There was mercy in darkness, this time. Mikasa welcomed it.


	2. Chapter 2

Underground had always been dark. If it wasn’t thanks to their advanced technology, then they would have perished due to lack of sunlight. None of them would have survived long enough to produce the next generation, the next immune. But the darkness of space was still a shock to the system. Krista pressed herself to the glass of the shuttle, blue eyes wide, transfixed. Ymir tried to play off her own excitement by scoffing and folding her arms over her chest. She kept glancing over to the abyss beyond Krista, however. Annie would have been right there beside the other blonde, gaping in wonder. Stars stretched out before them at imaginable numbers. All she could feel was her own numbness.

Only ten minutes had passed since their shuttle had left earth. Only minutes since Annie had watched, helpless, as the building collapsed. Since her only love was buried beneath it.

“We’ll tell them about her, you know,” Ymir mentioned softly. Annie glanced at her. “If they let us on, we’ll make sure that they know Mikasa was our saviour.”

Annie appreciated the words. Ymir wasn’t one for the things she was saying, but even she wasn’t tactless enough to be an ass right now. She could see the pain in Annie’s eyes, and she could imagine what she would have been like in that moment if Krista had remained behind instead of Mikasa. It was an inconceivable thought—it hurt too much to really dwell on.

“There’s no way to know that she’s really gone,” Krista piped up. She looked more hopeful than any of them felt.

“How?” Annie uttered. Her throat was dry.

“Krista…” Ymir warned. Though her brown eyes filled with warning, Krista disregarded it as she plopped back down in her seat and strapped in.

“I don’t believe that she’s dead,” she responded stubbornly. “This is Mikasa we’re talking about. She would find a way out of there.”

Annie would have snapped if she had the capacity for it. Nothing but coldness filled her. If she even allowed the tiny thought entertainment, to let a sliver of hope in her heart, then she would crumble. She had never cried in her life before—this would surely undo that.

“Shut up,” Ymir told the small blonde. “Don’t be an asshole.”

Krista seemed genuinely unamused. Not hurt or offended, but unamused. “I’m sorry if what I’m saying hurts you,” she told Annie, her eyes and tone both gentle. “That isn’t my intention. But I mean it—Mikasa is not dead. I won’t believe it.”

Annie nodded once so that Krista knew that her words had been acknowledged, but she offered no response. She felt exhausted, drained. It would take a while until they could get onto the ship if the people even allowed them on. Annie even wondered if it would be so bad if they were rejected, but then she looked upwards and noticed Ymir fussing over Krista, messing with her hair. They looked like they were arguing but the affection in their interactions was obvious. It hurt to look at.

Before Annie knew it they were docked on the ship and hard hands were pulling them from the shuttle. They had been rescued, and were now headed down a long corridor towards a metal door. Annie didn’t even know for what. She hadn’t listened to the women that had helped them out of the shuttle. Hadn’t heard what they had said. Were they going to be accepted? Tried for treason? She didn’t know, and a large part of her didn’t even care. Krista held fast to Ymir’s large hand, seeking comfort from her tall presence. Annie had nothing but the cold air around her.

They were ushered into a large room—it looked like a conference room. Within was Erwin, with his two underlings, Levi and Hanji. The tree of them sat side by side at a long, metal table. They sat down opposite them.

“Welcome,” Hanji said, grinning. She spread her fingers out on the table. “We didn’t think any of the soldiers had made it out!”

“Well we did,” Ymir responded carefully. “Are we allowed on here?”

“You should be ejected,” Levi deadpanned, eyes filled with disgust.

“Buuut,” Hanji said quickly, waving her hands. “Considering the severity of the war and how quickly we lost 83% of humanity, we need every individual we can get.”

Annie could only barely listen. She stared stoically at the table, silently hoping that no one would ask for her participation in this game of politics.

“So we’ll be allowed citizenship?”

“There is a requirement,” Erwin finally spoke up. He lowered his clasped hands and locked eyes with Ymir. “You will need to add to the population.”

“Add?” Krista asked.

“As in make babies!” Hanji clarified. She chuckled and relaxed in her seat. Of all three officials, she was the most at ease. “If you can promise us that you’ll have kids in the near future, we’ll let you stay.”

At this Annie finally animated. She was struck hard by the notion. Have a baby to stay? With who? Annie refused to even think about it. Not without Mikasa. No way. “And what if we have no one to reproduce with?” she asked icily, finally looking up to send sharp blades of ice Erwin’s way.

“There are plenty of people aboard the ship that have no partner yet.”

“No.”

“Annie…” Krista began.

“I said no!” Annie rebutted. Her voice wasn’t even above a hard mutter. Stubbornly she stood, and then she stormed from the room, eyes burning.

“Okay, maybe that was a bad conversation starter,” Hanji concluded. “We don’t mean that you _have, have, have_ to.”

“But it would be highly encouraged,” Erwin added.

“Is that it?” Ymir asked. “Have a kid?”

“That, and contribute to our society. You are the last of our soldiers, so you could take charge of our military.”

“What military?” Ymir spat. “Everyone worth a damn died.”

“Exactly, you pieces of shit are all we have left,” Levi scoffed. He seemed just as done with the conversation.

“We have divided the population into sections. Our military section is small, but existing. The three of you will have a portion each of the section to train. We hope that within a year, our new force will be able to at least hold a gun.”

Ymir had questions, accusations, speculations, but held her tongue. She was tired. “Okay, fine. Do you have rooms for us?”

Erwin nodded once, face set in stone. He hadn’t even blinked yet. With a sigh he reclined in his seat, and then he waved his hand once. “Hanji will show you to the sleeping quarters. Clean up and rest. We have dinner at eight.”

Hanji stood and ushered the pair from the room. They found Annie close by, pacing and glaring at anything she could. When they were showed to empty rooms—of which they had a surplus—Annie took the nearest one, slamming the door behind her. Ymir and Krista decided on the neighbouring one, and Krista bid Hanji a kind farewell.

Annie didn’t waste time admiring her new home. She quickly found the bathroom and switched the large shower on. Within seconds she was bare and underneath the hot spray of water.

Behind her, from the window showcasing space, earth rotated quietly. Annie refused to look at it. The sight reminded her of the fact that Mikasa was gone.

XxX

Death was darker than she had imagined. Cold. Instead of warmth and light, Mikasa experienced nothing but icy fear. It laced through her veins, sliding along her blood. If this was death then she cursed every soul that had ever conjured images of heaven. This was no peaceful rest. This must have been hell.

Mikasa lay motionless atop a hill of rubble. She had collapsed just as the sun winked out. The moon provided the only source of light and even if Mikasa had been awake for it, she would have struggled to see. But what she would have seen would have taken her breath away. Millions of stars shone uninhibited in the sky, winking down at her almost as if concerned. The moon even seemed brighter. The wind began to pick up, and soft tendrils of black hair touched Mikasa’s cheek. It did not stir her. Nothing did. Heavy footsteps thundered in the distance, growing closer, but she was far too gone to wake for it.

As the wind picked up once more, it masked the sound of smaller, surer footsteps. When they stopped by the fallen soldier’s side, a hooded figure emerged from the night. It was a young woman, and when she took note of the large “IM” symbol embedded in the soldiers armour, she threw her hood back and dropped down to her knees. Hastily she pressed her fingers to Mikasa’s throat, searching and hoping for a pulse.

“I found a survivor!” she yelled behind her, where two men stood watch. They glanced over in surprise.

“Seriously?” one responded, sharing a surprised look with his companion. “I didn’t think we would find anything, let alone someone alive.”

“She won’t be for much longer,” the young woman announced. “Come on and help me pick her up. I hear titans in the distance.”

The two men deflated suddenly. Just by looking at Mikasa they could tell that she would be insanely heavy. But they knew not to argue, and silently went to the woman’s side to aid her in lifting Mikasa. Surprisingly, she wasn’t as heavy as initially assumed. When she was up, the woman threw a limp arm over her shoulder and secured an arm around Mikasa’s waist. “Come on,” she said. “We got everything we came for.”

“Plus extra,” the man on the other side of Mikasa muttered.

And just like that, they pulled Mikasa down from the destroyed building. Not even that was enough to bring Mikasa out from the darkness.

_“Mommy, what is a sun?” Mikasa asked, young, innocent eyes watching her mother’s face with anticipation._

_Miroku Ackerman smiled softly and placed the gun in her hands back down on the work table. She leaned down to hoist Mikasa onto her lap, and then touched a finger to her newly cleaned weapon. “The sun is from the surface,” she explained softly, careful so that no one else could hear. “Where did you hear it from?”_

_Mikasa kept her voice low too. “Eren and Armin were talking about it before. Armin said that his parents went up to the surface to see the sun. Is it true? What does the sun look like?”_

_Miroku’s smile became strained. “Sweetheart, forget about the sun. We won’t be going to the surface for a long time. Why worry about it then?”_

_“Have you ever seen the sun?”_

_“I haven’t.”_

_“Did grandpa and grandma?”_

_“They did. They were part of the generation that lived on the surface before the titans took over.”_

_Mikasa looked down at her lap, frowning. “Why did the titans take our home, mommy?”_

_Sighing softly, the older Ackerman placed her young daughter back on the ground. She stood, holstering her weapon and checking that her armour was properly in place. “You’ll learn that in class.” Though she was pleased with Mikasa’s intellect at such a tender age, she felt slightly concerned with her curiosity. Their new government encouraged people to forget that the surface even existed. Though the military force was growing in numbers, though they were still sent to the surface to gather what supplies they could and to assess titan behaviour, citizens weren’t allowed to even think about the surface._

_Curiosity was a natural instinct, but it was one that led young, romantic couples to sneak out from their bunkers and into the clean, fresh air. They would then either be eaten or they would somehow bring the titans back down with them. The latter had occurred four times in the last ten years, though everyone was quick to forget. It was just easier to ignore the threat, the fear. But Miroku was part of a group that weren’t allowed to. Unlike the civilians, she had been on the earth’s surface and she had seen a titan for herself. It was a titan that had ripped her husband’s head right off of his shoulders, showering her in his crimson blood. It was because of a titan that she retained her husband’s name and dedicated herself to humanity’s remaining strength._

_Not all immune were given a gun. There were plenty of children and elderly living underground. But generations had passed, and once a child reached the age of eighteen, they had a “choice” to join. Of course, each of them ended up joining some way or another. Simply having them believe that it was their choice was a manipulative tactic used by their leaders. It led the normal citizens to believe that they were actually free. But they weren’t. No one was—they were simple pawns to use by the higher ups, food for the titans. Everyone was trapped down there, and no matter how badly they tried to ignore it, the fact would never go away._

_“Am I going to Eren now?” Mikasa asked softly, already reaching out to take her mother’s hand. She seemed almost afraid when Miroku gently took it._

_“I have to work now, Mikasa.” She dropped down to her knees and pulled Mikasa into a soft hug. Her chest plate pressed uncomfortably to Mikasa’s small body, but she ignored it to enjoy the love from her mother. “I love you very much. Don’t ever forget that, okay? I’ll fetch you as soon as we get back.” She stood, her gentle smile in place._

_Mikasa nodded once and then quietly walked alongside her mother. They made it to Eren’s bunker, and his mother, Carla, greeted them with just as much warmth. Eren was already inside playing with Armin—Mikasa assumed they were playing, since the two of them were huddled in the corner, talking softly._

_“Is Grisha here?” Miroku asked. She let Mikasa’s hand go so that she and Carla could clasp hands and shake._

_“He is. He’s in his study right now, working on a report for Erwin.”_

_Miroku nodded. “I really appreciate that he’s willing to look after Mikasa.”_

_Carla waved her hand. “He doesn’t mind, really. Since we are the ones going to war, he decided to take up the responsibility of babysitting. He doesn’t really want them down in the children’s bunker, either. The kids are always picking on Eren and Armin.”_

_“Mommy, can I go to Eren?” Mikasa asked softly. She was eager to see what her friends were doing. It looked like they were drawing something, and Eren had a brightness about him that implied excitement. She hated when they did things without her._

_Miroku smiled and leaned down to press a kiss to Mikasa’s forehead. “Of course.”_

_The little girl nodded once to both women and then she joined the other two at the end of the room. As soon as the children were out of earshot and busy, both Carla and Miroku dropped their smiles._

_“Did you receive Erwin’s message?” Carla asked._

_Miroku nodded, her face grim. “I did. He said that Lod wants us to head to the next city for supplies.” Erwin was second in command only to Lod, though he was still entirely too young. It was only because of him that they were allowed missions on the surface. But everyone suspected that when Lod eventually died, Erwin would take his place. What he would do then, no one could know. Both Miroku and Carla knew where their loyalties lied. It was only the worry that they would not return that gave them pause. But the both of them glanced over at the three children in the lounge, and seeing their innocent faces gave them courage._

_“We should go,” Miroku said softly._

_Carla’s smile was sad. “We should.” She took one small step backwards into the room. “Kids, we’re heading out now. Eren, make sure your father remembers to feed the three of you, alright?”_

_Eren looked up, slightly annoyed that he had been interrupted. “Sure!” he responded, head dipping down once more so that he could point at a spot on the paper and continue with his speech. Unlike him, Mikasa looked up at the set of mothers, her heart jerking unevenly._

_“Be safe!” she blurted, sounding years older than she was. Miroku paused by the door just as they had both turned, and she looked over her shoulder to send a warm smile to her small daughter._

_“Always,” she mouthed. And then she turned, and with Carla by her side, they disappeared down the hallway. Mikasa didn’t realize that she had started crying. When Eren shoved her shoulder, she blinked at him in confusion. When she turned back to the closed door, her heart sank._

_Only later on that day would she realize why her heart had broken even before Miroku and Carla were pronounced killed in action._

Mikasa jolted awake, lungs and heart both seizing. Her limbs flailed and as they did searing pain swept through her. A strangled cry left her lips as tears poured from her eyes, but then warm, firm hands pressed down on her chest and forehead, and somehow she managed to stop her heart from failing all together.

“Hang on there!” the person drawled, voice determined but surprisingly warm. It calmed Mikasa further. But it was so dark that she couldn’t see, and even though she still had too many clothes on, the cold was beginning to creep in. Even her veins felt cold and her heart was almost shaking with her. She tried to speak, but no words left her blue lips. “Don’t talk. You’ve lost too much blood. We’re rushing you to our medical unit, okay? We’ll be there soon. Just hang on. Sleep, but don’t die.”

Mikasa felt the strange urge to laugh, but even that was impossible. She groaned instead, confused and scared. Her leg felt numb and inflamed at the same time. Her lungs screamed each time she breathed and even the warm skin pressed to hers became too hot, almost burning. She flinched away, but those hands refused to leave her.

“I’ll be right here the whole time. Just hang on for me, okay?”

Mikasa wanted to say that she’d try. She even tried to nod, but her neck had no strength, her head was too heavy. She almost deflated and groaned, pain sparking through her body again as she was suddenly jolted.

“Hey!” the person yelled, angry. “Watch where you idiots drive!”

“Sorry, geez! This road is destroyed!”

Mikasa didn’t recognize any of the voices around her. Since she felt so close to death already she felt no concern for her own wellbeing. The only thing she could understand was that she hurt, she was tired, and the warm hands on her were beginning to hurt. But her energy seemed to leave her, and when the stranger touching her skin began to talk to her again, her eyelids grew even heavier than they had been. She dropped off to sleep at the sound of gentle humming. It reminded her of her mother.

When she woke again she didn’t feel the gentle rocking from earlier. This time she was completely stationary. Whatever she was lying on was soft and it took some of the discomfort away from her aching body. When she tried to move, her limbs refused to work.

“Don’t move,” someone uttered beside her, voice thick with sleep. “You just got out of surgery. You’ll be asleep for a while and bedridden even longer.”

This time when Mikasa forced her eyes open, there was light. It still seemed relatively dark, but there was a dim light somewhere to her left. There was a shadow there too, and she assumed that it belonged to her unknown saviour.

“Wh… who…?” she could not muster more past her dry and cracked lips.

“I’m Sasha,” the young girl said. She scooted closer and leaned over so that Mikasa could see her face.

Mikasa blinked some of the blurriness out of her sight and squinted. The most she could make out was long, brown hair. It reminded her of Carla, though it was lighter. The girl’s eyes were brown too, but they were so warm that Mikasa felt comfort from them immediately. She was definitely beautiful.

“I was out with Connie and Jean when we found you,” she started softly. She struck Mikasa as the loud type, so the soldier couldn’t figure out why she was speaking with such control. Was it because of her fragile state? “That was a month ago.” At that Mikasa jerked up in response. She managed to sit up, but her breath left her in an instant and she cried out as pain shot through her chest and leg. Sasha quickly helped her back down, clicking her tongue.

“I told you not to move. Your wounds are healing slowly. Your suit is broken and we don’t have any of that healing gel stuff. Plus your cybernetics are busted. We’ll need to head out and meet with someone that can fix them for you.”

“A… m… month?” Mikasa croaked. Her throat was so dry that it was actually painful, and she managed to lift her right arm to wrap a hand around her throat.

“Yup. It took us a day to get here and then we took you to the medical unit. Gramps patched you up. You went into a coma and now you’re awake! You look thirsty, though.” She paused her rambling to pull a glass from the table beside Mikasa’s bed. When she pressed the glass to Mikasa’s lips, the black haired woman managed to lean up and force the glass upwards with her right hand, drinking everything in one hasty gulp. Most of it missed her lips and slid down onto her chest, but Mikasa was far from caring about it. When she was done she collapsed again, moaning in both pain and relief. She had never felt so grateful and pathetic in all her life.

“You should probably go back to sleep. Gramps said that you’ll need another few days before you can even sit up. I’ll be here the whole time, so don’t worry about being alone.”

Mikasa looked over at Sasha with surprise. She couldn’t figure out why this stranger was being so kind to her. Above that, she didn’t look like any of the people Mikasa was used to seeing. She didn’t look like she had come from underground. Mikasa wanted to ask her, but her strength was already gone and her eyelids slid shut without her control. Sasha gave her cheek a gentle caress, pressed a kiss to her forehead and then quietly leaned back in her seat. Mikasa was only vaguely aware of Sasha’s soft humming before she fell into unconsciousness once more.

Two days later Mikasa woke again. She felt stronger this time than the last, and as promised Sasha was right there beside her. The brunette was humming again, reading a book with her legs stretched out and her feet resting on the bed. When she felt Mikasa’s eyes on her, she startled and dropped the book. Fumbling, she stood up hastily and laughed awkwardly.

“Sorry, didn’t see that you woke up. How do you feel?”

Mikasa managed a small smile. “Better.” Her voice was breathier than it usually was, but it at least didn’t fail her. Though Mikasa was tempted to test how much stronger she was, she felt too tired to even sit up. But she managed to lift an arm and point at the book clutched between Sasha’s trembling fingers. “What were you reading?” Being unconscious for so long left her feeling socially inept. The urge to speak to anyone willing to listen was great.

Sasha’s eyes shot down to the book. It was leather bound and old due to years of sun and abuse. But she had tried her best to keep it in some sort of preserved condition. It didn’t help that she had pulled the book from the rubble of a destroyed building. “Oh! This is just a fiction book. I’ve read it so often, but it’s the only thing that really keeps me busy.”

Mikasa detected a hint of hesitation in Sasha’s voice, so she sighed lightly and grabbed at the blanket covering her body. It was thin compared to the cold creeping in. Mikasa had forgotten that winter had just started.

“How long have you been here?” Mikasa asked the brunette, grey eyes lingering on her face. Sasha faltered lightly—Mikasa had a sudden intensity about her and it was slightly unnerving.

“She sleeps here,” a new voice suddenly added. A bald man walked into the room, his smile warm and fatherly. “We have to wrestle her out of the room to take a shower and eat every day.”

At his entrance Mikasa struggled into a seating position. Her perceptiveness remained with her, and she instantly knew that this man was the one responsible for saving her. “Thank you,” she blurted. It was cold but she was suddenly sweating.

The man laughed. “Why are you thanking me just yet? We aren’t even introduced!”

“She’s a soldier,” Sasha said, as if that would explain it. “Or, I think she is.”

“I am,” Mikasa agreed. She felt her arms strain as she tried to remain seated. “My name is Mikasa Ackerman. Were you responsible for saving my life?”

Surprised, the man took a seat at the foot of the bed. He neatly placed his hands in his lap, old eyes wide as they studied Mikasa’s scarred face. “A soldier indeed.  My name is Pixis. I’m the old coot that keeps everyone alive. You barely made it, you know. You’d lost too much blood. If it wasn’t for the Commander and your cyber-parts, you would have been six feet under by now.”

“The Commander? You have a chain of command here?”

Pixis chuckled dryly. “Don’t think us uncivilized just because we live on the surface.”

“So,” Mikasa swallowed lightly. “You really have been living on the surface? How did you manage to survive? Are you all immune?”

Pixis smiled in amusement but made no move to respond. He stared, though. Mikasa felt unnerved by it, like the man was looking for something within her features. “Anyway,” he eventually said, “I came here to let Sasha know that she is needed in the mess unit. Mina is sick again and she can’t help with dinner.”

Sasha groaned. “Seriously? Again?”

Mikasa grinned lightly at Sasha’s outrage. It felt strangely normal in the wake of her recent experiences. It was… nice. She would definitely have to dedicate time to repay Sasha for not just her company, but for finding her in the first place. It was a debt that would never truly be repaid—Mikasa would try anyway. While Mikasa’s musings distracted her, Sasha moodily left to fulfil her duties. Pixis stayed a moment more to assess Mikasa’s condition, and then he too left, stating that he would send Sasha back with food. Apparently Mikasa had recovered enough to move back over to solid food—she had been on an IV since she had been brought in. Mikasa didn’t even know where these people got their supplies.

It was quiet where they were, wherever it was. What served as Mikasa’s shelter was a tent. There were probably more of them. If that was the case, then Mikasa assumed that they were not in a city or town. They were probably far from any buildings. Perhaps that’s why no alarms sounded in response to a titan sighting. Somehow these people lived safely, hidden away in their own pocket of civilization. Had they been here the entire time while Mikasa’s people had flooded from underground to the shuttles? When their mother ship had shot off into space a mere week prior? What had they thought, then? That they were better off, or at a loss? These thoughts consumed Mikasa, and before she knew it she was too tired to continue thinking. She only remained awake long enough for Sasha to return and for her food to settle in her stomach. After that she listened to Sasha as she fell asleep, and filed all her questions away for a moment when they would be appropriate to voice.

 


End file.
